My hearts desire..

I have had alot on my mind the past few months..

For one : I have been praying that God would bless us with another child for years. I was so happy when we decided to start trying again!! We started trying in August and then I had a miscarriage in September at almost 7 wks. I was so upset but knew that there was a reason and I need to trust in the Lord.
So ... we waited the recommended time for my body to heal and we started trying again. We tried in Decemeber and it didn't happen.We tried again in January and we are now waiting to see.. I went to the Dr. this week because I am concerned about the pain I am having while I have my period. It has been horrible and not normal for me at all. They did a exam and pap smear and I am sceduled to have a u/s on the 23rd of this month to check for cysts, fibroids or possible endometriosis.He prescribed some pain medication for me to take if I end up NOT pregnant this month. I am concerned that this is possibly the reason for my miscarriage and not conceiving. I usually have no problem getting pregnant.. we always were successful the 1st month of trying. So I am very concerned and trying to trust in the Lord.

The other thing on my heart right now is that I want to quit my job and stay at home with the kids and homeschool them. Bryan doesn't see how that is possible.. I am praying that the Lord will make a way for me to stay home and homeschool if thats His plan. In the mean time I think I will try to make a budget on just Bryan's income and see where we are at. I understand we would probably have to give up quite a few things .. Bryan just keeps reminding me that we would NEVER be able to visit my family on the Cape or go on a vacation or be able to get a new (to us) vehicle, or fix anything around the house ect. I guess if this is what God wants me to do then He will make a way of it to happen.

Wow.. I feel much better now that I wrote this all out!