Sadness...

well.. long story short...

I lost the baby. I started bleeding on Sept.23rd and continued over the weekend...and on Sunday night (Sept. 27th) it was offical.. :(
It has been such an emotional week. I know that it wasn't my fault and I couldn't do anything to stop it, I know that the Lord had his reasons for letting it happen, I know He is with me during this and I will be ok.

My heart is broken... and I am sad.

I have such mixed emotions. I am scared to try again... what if I lose that one too? What if I can't concieve another child? What if the Lord doesn't want me to have another child? Am I ok with that?
What if.. what if...

I am trying to take 1 day at a time.. and praying that God will give me strength to make it thru another day. I know I will be ok..


On a good note... Robyn's diagnosis is changed! They have determined that in fact that there is not a growth on her Thymus gland but instead it is just enlarged. They are still not sure what they are going to do about it though. She had a barium swallow test the other day and are waiting to hear the results of that. She is still very dizzy and still having all the symptoms that she has had. They are consulting with other doctors and hopefully soon we will know what the plan is.
I am so happy that it is not a tumor.. they were talking about her having some major surgery(opening her chest up). I just pray there is a easy solution ... and they figure out what to do to help her.

Phew!! Stress much?!