Our trip back to Wellfleet..

I finally got to go home and visit my family! I missed them all sooo much..
While I was there my nephew turned 10 and we also had fun at the Provincetown National Seashore. We got birds to eat right out of our hands... it was so much fun!
I also saw my niece Ariana.. I haven't seen her since last summer! She has grown-up over the winter and talking nonstop!
All my sisters(including my sister-in law) walked for MS. My Uncle Wayne has had MS since I was young.. and we wanted to help the cause! The kids went with us and we walked 6 miles.. everyone did such a great job!
I miss my family so much ~ I wish we all lived closer. I do thank the Lord that I am only 4 hours away, it could be much farther!

Spring.. it's finally here!

It has finally arrived.. Spring that is!
It has been a very long winter and I am so happy it is now behind us! The kids have less than 30 days left of school and then they are finally done! We are planning on homeschooling them this fall, and I am trying to decide what cirriculum to use for them. Boy..it that a job! I will have a 9th grader, 6th grader, 2nd grader and a preschooler! I am excited about our decision.. I can't tell you why I changed my mind about keeping them in public school, it just happened. I just "feel" like it is what I am to do. I am looking forward to being with my kids all day and teaching them! I am worried about still having to work part-time and trying to homeschool. I would love to quit my job, but I don't think that is possible right now. I guess we will see how this will all work out.. ♥

It is so nice to see the green leaves on the trees and flowers blooming again.. I am so excited to get my hands dirty and get to work on my flower gardens! We are also planting a good size vegetable garden at my mother-in-laws house this year.(we dont have the room or enough sunlight)The girls are very excited about it and we are deciding on what to plant!! We are going to have a small herb garden at our house this year.. YAY!

As for "our plan" to have more children.. well, it hasn't been working out too well. I now know what women go thru month after month to get pregnant. I never had a issue before but now I am, and its not fun at all!
I am not sure if its my age, or the fact that its just not the right time. I am trying to trust in Him. I will have to confess that this process has taken quite a toll on me. I have been so upset at myself(my body), and have experienced depression for the 1st time ever in my life.
I am praying myself out of this "hole" I have made for myself and trying to rejoice! I am so blessed to have a husband that loves me and 4 beautiful healthy children.. I need to remember what I DO HAVE and not what I don't.
So I am leaving this "baby" situatuion up to the Lord. We will continue to "not prevent" and let it be. If the Lord desires us to have another baby then I will be overjoyed..but if He decides that I am done having children, I will be ok with that as well. I have FINALLY come to peace with the fact that I may be done.. and its ok.