Crazy days of Summer...

I can't believe that is already the middle of August! The summer has flown by...
We have been very busy with swimming lessons, farm camp, church camp and soon a vacation to the Cape! We have been working on painting the outside of our house also.

Emalee turned 7 in July and we had a party.. I can't believe she is 7! Seems like yesterday I was bringing her home from the hopsital. Time goes by way too fast!

Our trip back to Wellfleet..

I finally got to go home and visit my family! I missed them all sooo much..
While I was there my nephew turned 10 and we also had fun at the Provincetown National Seashore. We got birds to eat right out of our hands... it was so much fun!
I also saw my niece Ariana.. I haven't seen her since last summer! She has grown-up over the winter and talking nonstop!
All my sisters(including my sister-in law) walked for MS. My Uncle Wayne has had MS since I was young.. and we wanted to help the cause! The kids went with us and we walked 6 miles.. everyone did such a great job!
I miss my family so much ~ I wish we all lived closer. I do thank the Lord that I am only 4 hours away, it could be much farther!

Spring.. it's finally here!

It has finally arrived.. Spring that is!
It has been a very long winter and I am so happy it is now behind us! The kids have less than 30 days left of school and then they are finally done! We are planning on homeschooling them this fall, and I am trying to decide what cirriculum to use for them. Boy..it that a job! I will have a 9th grader, 6th grader, 2nd grader and a preschooler! I am excited about our decision.. I can't tell you why I changed my mind about keeping them in public school, it just happened. I just "feel" like it is what I am to do. I am looking forward to being with my kids all day and teaching them! I am worried about still having to work part-time and trying to homeschool. I would love to quit my job, but I don't think that is possible right now. I guess we will see how this will all work out.. ♥

It is so nice to see the green leaves on the trees and flowers blooming again.. I am so excited to get my hands dirty and get to work on my flower gardens! We are also planting a good size vegetable garden at my mother-in-laws house this year.(we dont have the room or enough sunlight)The girls are very excited about it and we are deciding on what to plant!! We are going to have a small herb garden at our house this year.. YAY!

As for "our plan" to have more children.. well, it hasn't been working out too well. I now know what women go thru month after month to get pregnant. I never had a issue before but now I am, and its not fun at all!
I am not sure if its my age, or the fact that its just not the right time. I am trying to trust in Him. I will have to confess that this process has taken quite a toll on me. I have been so upset at myself(my body), and have experienced depression for the 1st time ever in my life.
I am praying myself out of this "hole" I have made for myself and trying to rejoice! I am so blessed to have a husband that loves me and 4 beautiful healthy children.. I need to remember what I DO HAVE and not what I don't.
So I am leaving this "baby" situatuion up to the Lord. We will continue to "not prevent" and let it be. If the Lord desires us to have another baby then I will be overjoyed..but if He decides that I am done having children, I will be ok with that as well. I have FINALLY come to peace with the fact that I may be done.. and its ok.

Birthdays..

Well.. my Hannah Lynn is offically 11 years old. How did it happen so fast? It seems like I blink and years pass.. She has such a sweet heart and I am so proud of her. She is growing into a beautiful young lady!
We had her "friend" birthday party at the Bowling Alley this year. We have never done anything like that before and it was a blast. They bowled, played arcade games and ate cake and ice cream.

This past weekend we had out "family" birthday party for Hannah and Maddisen. Maddisen will be 4 on the 27th. How did that happen????? My baby is almost 4 years old! I tell ya.. time is flying by WAY TOO FAST! I don't like it at all..

My hearts desire..

I have had alot on my mind the past few months..

For one : I have been praying that God would bless us with another child for years. I was so happy when we decided to start trying again!! We started trying in August and then I had a miscarriage in September at almost 7 wks. I was so upset but knew that there was a reason and I need to trust in the Lord.
So ... we waited the recommended time for my body to heal and we started trying again. We tried in Decemeber and it didn't happen.We tried again in January and we are now waiting to see.. I went to the Dr. this week because I am concerned about the pain I am having while I have my period. It has been horrible and not normal for me at all. They did a exam and pap smear and I am sceduled to have a u/s on the 23rd of this month to check for cysts, fibroids or possible endometriosis.He prescribed some pain medication for me to take if I end up NOT pregnant this month. I am concerned that this is possibly the reason for my miscarriage and not conceiving. I usually have no problem getting pregnant.. we always were successful the 1st month of trying. So I am very concerned and trying to trust in the Lord.

The other thing on my heart right now is that I want to quit my job and stay at home with the kids and homeschool them. Bryan doesn't see how that is possible.. I am praying that the Lord will make a way for me to stay home and homeschool if thats His plan. In the mean time I think I will try to make a budget on just Bryan's income and see where we are at. I understand we would probably have to give up quite a few things .. Bryan just keeps reminding me that we would NEVER be able to visit my family on the Cape or go on a vacation or be able to get a new (to us) vehicle, or fix anything around the house ect. I guess if this is what God wants me to do then He will make a way of it to happen.

Wow.. I feel much better now that I wrote this all out!

Wow.. its been quite awhile since I wrote last! Things here have been very busy..

Let's see since the last post.. my parents came for a quick visit on New Year's Eve before they drove down to Florida for a few months. It was nice to see them, since we couldn't go back home for Christmas due to my van being so unreliable. They brought gifts for the kids.. and we had a great time.
I celebrated my 36th birthday last week.. how time flies! How can I be that old already? Bryan invited a few people over to have pizza and cake to celebrate. It was nice..
My sister Sarah was here over the weekend to visit. I am so happy that they could come up, I miss my family so much!! We had a wonderful time visiting and the cousins got to play together.

We are battling sickness again.. Emalee has had a fever now for 3 days. Not sure what is going on really, she doesn't have any other symptoms. I am not sure it is worth a Dr. call yet. I will watch her and see what happens.